Monday musings

When You Feel Like Road Kill …

You know what I mean.

Those days when  lifting your head off the pillow is difficult.

When you count all your failings and run out of fingers.

When you’re certain – beyond a doubt – that the world is better off without you.

The days when you feel like road kill.

It’s not polite to discuss such things at cocktail parties where everyone is a success, and life is contained in spunky, sound bites, but this is a blog, a place where real feelings live and breath and … change.

What brought this on? Two things. One: My health. I’ve had a lousy cold for a week  and mobility issues for four months. The walls are closing in on me. And Two: I’m writing, and it’s hard. Damn hard.

Yes, I am feeling woefully sorry for myself. I keep trying to see the light in this. Am I molting? Am I on the edge of an epiphany?

But then I blow my nose and my world shifts.

Nope, this is not a momentous moment of insight. I’m just plain human. And it’s human to have low points.

We all know the next step. Getting up, brushing the road dirt off my pajamas and carrying on down my winding, bumpy road. The sooner, the better.  I can do it. I have done it. Many times.

And still I hesitate, and look at my misery, one last moment. Taste its bitterness. Smell it’s self-absorbed stench. Feel it’s darkness struggling to keep out the light.

And I then let go of it and get out of bed.

***

If you want some practical advice on motivation check out Marc Chernov’s blog post: 10 Things to Remember When You’ve Lost Your Motivation. He moves beyond kitchy sayings and has good strategies, such as: “It’s not the weight that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it…”

Photo: Pixabay.com

 

 

10 thoughts on “When You Feel Like Road Kill …

    1. Hi Judy,
      You read my mind. I’ve been binging on NCIS (through Shomi). The plots are tightly woven and the characters are fun, but I’ve watched so many that the theme music keeps playing in my head. lokl
      Meanwhile, I am healing. Thanks for stopping by and wishing me well.
      Best Wishes
      Jo-Ann

      Like

  1. Hang in there. Every day is a fresh beginning. A chance to move forward. Embrace the moment you have right now.
    (just came from a Yoga class) so I’m feeling inspired. Just started back. Haven’t practiced for years.
    You set very high expectations for yourself. Time to lighten the load.
    Just my opinion of course. I know how disheartening it can be when your body lets you down. Buy yourself some flowers or another treat and congratulate yourself on your stellar writing journey. You are a published author. Rejoice!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Jodie,
      I like your sunny perspective. And I can tell you know exactly what I mean.
      Glad to hear you’re enjoying yoga.
      Thanks for stopping by to cheer up my day.
      Best Wishes
      Jo-Ann

      Like

  2. I wish I were there to give you a hug but I’m hope PJ will. Hang in there, I know it’s tough some times but out of darkness comes light. You do set high standards for yourself and that’s good. But sometimes you just need to be human, and kind to yourself. As kind as I know you would be to others.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your writing is as always a breath of real emotion and truth. Hopefully with the sun struggling back into light and days touched by its warmth, the rays will spread to you and bring that brightness that you have shining through again.

    Liked by 2 people

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